Saturday, July 4, 2015

India's Own Personal Card Reading For July

Hello again, folks!

This time, I'll be having a bit of a peek at India with my pack of Bikes. The standard rule applies, as always; I ask for a general idea of what's going on. Divination's a tricky business, so I use a few of my own tricks in response. A deck of playing cards and keeping things relatively near the now usually does the trick. Enough pointless prattle, let's get on with it!

Medium: One deck of playing cards.

Spread: Standard three-card plus two elaborations.

Question: What is India most likely to deal with in the month of July.

Now, let's get on with the reading.

The Reading Proper

July promises to be a very interesting month for the nation of India. The Joker shows up first, which in my spreads stands in for change, but this is not a dangerous or horrible chaos which we all know and fear. It simply means some stuff is up in the air right now. When I requested an elaboration on this card (always, always demand an elaboration for a Joker,) I received the Queen of Hearts.

Contrary to what Lewis Carroll teaches us, nobody will be decapitated (probably.) No, it simply means that the deck is being reshuffled on home territory, so to speak. The disorder is an internal issue, and one that is getting ready to come bubbling up to the surface after a bit of stewing. Again, nothing horrific, just inconvenient.

This leads us into the second card in the spread, which is the Queen of Clubs. When she pops up, it shows that help is basically on the way. However, this help comes with a price; you have to help yourself. This lady provides guidance, wisdom, experience, and she's the one you'll think of the instant this card pops up. Given the scope of this reading, I'm calling it a politician who knows her business, has some experience and a head level enough to pull someone out of the metaphorical quicksand.

The Queen leads us to the Four of Clubs, which indicates potential. However, this potential must be worked for and earned, like plowing a field. The ground's fertile enough, but a fat lot of good it will do someone who doesn't even bother to work it. Nothing's happening now, but it will soon (as soon as the work is done, of course,) and it must be prepared for accordingly.

I did request an elaboration upon this card to find out what the likely outcome after this would be. The result to this is the Ten of Hearts, which shows the promise of a sort of "all's well that ends well" style of ending. To be a bit more precise, given that this is a national reading, it means that the likelihood of the earlier havoc subsiding is strong, and the country of India will be better off for it. Try to think of it as a happy ending, but...

After all, it has to be worked for.

Until next time, ladies and gentlemen!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A Relatively Quick Reading for Boko Haram

Greetings once again, my loyal readers! I have apparently decided to continue with the trend of readings which make me question my own sanity. Granted, we tend to be a little around the bend to begin with, but this next project makes me wonder how bad it is. What is this marvelous little project?

Yep, I really know how to pick 'em...
As the title says, I have decided to read for another pack of monsters and cowards. This time, the folks of Boko Haram have found themselves under my playing card-flavored microscope! Lucky devils that they are, I have also decided to have a look at the three month trend as it relates to their organization. In all honesty, I’m not feeling very optimistic for the boys. It looks to be a weird period for them, frankly. But enough stalling, let’s get on with it!

Medium: A pack of playing cards.

Spread: Standard three, with additional cards drawn as needed for clarification (noted accordingly.)

Question: What do the next three months look like for Boko Haram?

After shuffling and voicing the question to keep my head straight and give the reading the needed context, I drew the Four of Spades, Ten of Spades, and the Eight of Clubs. Also, a few elaborations because this was kind of an odd spread to end up with.

In my system, the Four of Spades means something like stepping into quicksand or a nasty bog. It seems the folks of Boko Haram will be dealing with a situation that will basically leave them immobilized. With an individual receiving this card, it would mean they’re feeling stuck or trapped in their current situation. Considering that I’m reading for a whole organization, however, the meaning gets bigger. They’re trapped like rats, more or less. They group is going nowhere, and there’s potentially the discontent that comes with that little problem. The card used to elaborate on this is the Nine of Hearts, which displays the distinct possibility of a move. This is likely a problem of factions within the group itself, and I can definitely see discontent between two groups within the organization over this.

The second month was revealed as the Ten of Spades. This, bluntly put, shows an aftermath of utter catastrophe. The excrement has hit the oscillating cooling device and wow, did it spread! Something big will hit that will rock this entire organization (such as it is) to its core. After drawing this card, I had to have elaboration, and what I got confirmed my earlier suspicions. The Two of Swords acted as my clarifier, which shows the probability that someone will be spoiling for a fight, and they’ll get it. In short; Boko Haram will probably start eating itself in the second month. I see the possibility of internal purges to get rid of “problem members” and to try and stomp out this faction issue. It definitely seems like this will eat up a lot of their resources.

The third month is where things got tricky. The third month tends to be the outer-limit of stuff like this, unless you can hang it on something with a mathematical basis, like astrology or numerology. The Eight of Clubs shows up as the main card for the third month, which shows a strong likelihood that whatever’s left of Boko Haram will get together to talk shop about what just happened. To really dig into what this meant, I pulled out a few extra cards for this (shuffle and draw, note it down, replace, shuffle and draw, etc.) The first elaboration card I drew was the Three of Clubs, which reveals that the entire reason for this meeting will be to discuss the obstacle they had just dealt with. The elaboration for this being the Nine of Hearts, which places them back at square one.

A separate set of clarifications were drawn for the Three of Clubs, to get to the heart of the matter. The Four of Hearts having been drawn, which reveals in this case that their main problem is a lack of direction and growth. Stagnation is rarely good for any organization, and in Boko Haram’s case, this is a definite nail in the coffin for them. Moving deeper into the quandary, I drew the Eight of Spades, which shows to me nothing less than a breakdown in communication within the group as a result of this. Leaders and underlings both will be at each other’s throats as miscommunications happen throughout the entire organization (and with their allied groups, as well!) It looks to be a rather savage time for Boko Haram, this third month.

To summarize: I’m seeing a lot of talk of moving on and factions springing up within the group because of it. There will be a great deal of infighting that will be disastrous for the organization, and in the end nothing will really get solved because they’ll be right back at square one. This group is likely to just eat itself. This is normally the part where I try to point out the bright side, or offer helpful advice. However, there’s a couple of problems with that.

Problem one: Boko Haram is a terrorist organization that steals kids and women. Screw those guys.

Problem two: This series of events has been building up for a long time. Honestly, I don’t believe there’s anything that can be done about this. The best their leadership can really hope to do is take what funds are left and run away while the getting is good.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A Quick Reading For Daesh (or Isis, or Isil...)

Hello once again my loyal readers! It’s me, your old pal The Divine Mr. R, and do I have something special for you. Now, I have no clue what the Hell possessed me to do this, and frankly I’m not thinking too hard about it, but I decided to try something special today. Today, I did a bit of a card reading, nothing fancy, just a standard three card plus an extra to elaborate on something that was confusing (didn’t help.) But it’s not what I did, but who I did it for that takes the damned cake. 

Yep, this pack of charmers right here.
Source: Flag of the Islamic State. by TRAJAN 117

I did a card reading for none other than the biggest pack of douche-canoes currently blighting our world today. Granted, that’s a relative judgement, but I don’t think many of you will object to my nominating these folks; I performed a card reading for goddamn Daesh. At least, that’s what they’re called over in the Middle East by most people. They call themselves ISIS, or ISIL, and other people who insist on acknowledging their fake status as a nation do the same. Well screw it, they’re Daesh to me, and I gave them a quick divinatory look-over to see how things will be faring for them in the next few months. The results were interesting, to say the least.

Medium: A pack of Bicycle playing cards.
Spread: Three plus One for clarity
Question: What do the next three months look like for the terrorist organization, Daesh?

After shuffling and asking the required question to give it some shape, I drew an Eight of Spades, a Joker, and a Seven of Hearts. I’ll note the card used for elaboration (and what I’m elaborating on) at the end.

The Eight of Spades in my format means something akin to an argument, or an inability to make one’s voice heard clearly. Now, with an individual, that’s what it would mean. However, I’m reading for a whole damned organization, which means this takes on a much bigger meaning. In the case of Daesh, this shows a communication breakdown in the first month. Internal communication will be screwed up as memos are likely lost, and propaganda will be next to useless (if it’s deployed at all.) There’s also the possibility of radio, cell phone, and internet communication getting screwed up for them. Members defecting looks quite likely as internal propaganda falls flat on its face, and the younger men who make up the ranks lose interest and get tired of taking crap from higher-ups who are using them as muscle. This is compounded by taking bullshit from their “fellow soldiers” who patrol with them.

The second month shows itself in the Joker card. This is a context-sensitive card in my spreads. With positive cards, it’s closer to a “happy accident,” with negative spreads, it’s closer to “unforeseen circumstances that will wreck your good mood.” In this case, it shows a random series of x-factors, nearly unavoidable that will contribute to the chaos of the previous month. This is absolute havoc, almost like God himself were giving them something to think about. The communication breakdowns of the first month will be continued through seemingly random accidents. Again, think radios and computers breaking down, equipment failure far out the ass. Misunderstood messages tinged with spite because someone felt slighted to begin with will likely occur at this time.

The third month is represented by the Seven of Hearts. I know what you’re thinking (probably,) “a heart card, that can’t be bad!” Normally it’s a good card, but it’s context sensitive. All divination methods tend to be like that. Hearts are love, yeah, but the Seven of Hearts is love corrupted. It’s become hate, or even fear. Within the ranks, the gung-ho attitude and fervor of the young members will have become twisted by the previous couple of months. They will be looking inward at their commanders and their fellows, and not liking what they see. Naturally, they are likely to lash out at them, or at least try and jump ship while the getting’s good. The higher ups will most likely respond in kind, abandoning their former charges or even attacking them to save their own asses. You didn’t expect a happy ending for these people, did you?

Now, onto the card used for elaboration. I wanted some clarification on the Joker card that was drawn for the second month, because just saying “random shit” seemed a bit anti-climactic. However, when I requested elaboration from my deck and drew the card, I ended up with….


A damned Joker to clarify the previous Joker card. So to elaborate on the second month, yeah, it actually seems to be genuine supernatural interference. It’s either the result of every priest, rabbi, and imam praying that Daesh finally gets stopped. Hard.

Or it is something so outlandishly unexpected, that the cards just aren’t registering it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to have that much crazy going on. It’s fine, though. Think of this as a good kind of crazy.

Unless you happen to be leading a vicious terrorist organization… Then you’re kind of screwed.

Monday, June 8, 2015

July Prediction For Nigeria 2015

Good to see you back again, ladies and gentlemen!

I know, I’m probably being silly by posting my forecasts of the old psychic weather for July before June is even halfway done. But really, what’s the point of a prediction unless it’s put out early enough to be of some use? So here I am, posting another increasingly useful experiment (provided the right people find it, at any rate.) Yes, I am still using the word “experiment” to describe these little posts, mostly because there’s no such thing as flawless knowledge when it comes to the various methods I employ, only exceptional interpretations of the ridiculously complex series of events known as the future.

At any rate, here is the general trend for the nation of Nigeria for July, 2015.

The month of July promises to be rather interesting for the nation of Nigeria! A streak of individuality is starting to really show itself within the nation as Nigeria has begun to come into its own. This month will show it even more, especially for those who would be considered “doers” instead of “talkers.” I’m getting a weird feeling that it will be a fine month for those in the nation with an entrepreneurial spirit.

Self-discipline will really pay off in July for the country, and this combined with careful management of resources can equal nothing but success. I also see a strong trend toward self-reliance coming to the fore, as though the nation will collectively find an inner-strength that it has known to exist all along, but grasped for in seeming vain. This month will be the month in which Nigeria’s combined grasp will touch what it has sought for. Whether or not it will be grasped is entirely up to her citizens.

I will close on this; I have the most peculiar feeling that a Leo will have a great deal of significance for the nation of Nigeria this July. I’m not sure why I get this feeling, but it is a strangely insistent, nagging hunch that will not go away. I also feel like the person in question will be male, or at least has a distinctly assertive energy traditionally associated with masculinity. Beyond that I cannot say.

I’ll end it with this final thought. In the words of Ben Parker from the Spiderman series “with great power comes great responsibility.” This feels like it applies to the nation (or those within it) now more than ever.