Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Origin Story of The Divine Mr. R or.... Why I Do This Crazy Stuff.

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

You know, it's been a couple of days, and I thought maybe we should have a bit of a chat about something a little odd and a bit close to my heart. This is, of course, why I do what I do. Why, my loyal readers, I chose to study divination and practice it for the general public. I know, it's probably the last question on your mind. You're probably still waiting with baited breath to see if any of my offered experiments and calculations will prove true! However, it came up during a reading, so I thought I'd post it for all and sundry.

The reason, folks, is that it won't go away. I don't mean the astrological charts, or the cards, or the numerological tables... And certainly not my eyes (I NEED those!) No, I mean the urge won't go away. That horrible, burning urge. I'm sure some of you know what I mean. I have a passion for this, it is simply what I do and what I love.

It all started as a child (it usually does, I'm told) when my great aunt taught me how to read palms. Nothing big at first, you understand, just a few of the major lines and what the weird little “wrinkly places” - I would later learn they're called “bracelets” - mean. So, good student that I was, I'd sit at her feet and learn what she would teach me since these lessons were kind of stretched out, to make sure my folks didn't know. It was great fun and, quite frankly, I was hooked! To think you could learn so much about a human being from their hand and digits... Naturally, I had to know more. So the lessons continued, quite a bit for a little eight year old boy, but I was a dutiful student. Later on, I found a book on superstitions in the school library that gave me, if not correct information, then the right words to use when asking questions. This supplemented the education I received from family, then a couple of years later, my first tentative steps into practice as I read for friends.

The teachers weren't the least bit amused, but then they never really are, are they? So it goes... And so I went. As I grew older, I studied more and more, making trips to the public library to pad out what I had learned. I began to pick up all sorts of useful stuff, practicing diligently and putting it to work with my somewhat captive clientele at my school. Once the academic thrill of learning something nobody else knew wore off, I learned something else that was equally important; I enjoyed helping people with my knowledge.

It sounds downright diabetic, doesn't it? The Divine Mr. R found his joy in helping people with stuff that nobody takes seriously anymore... But it's true. As I grew older still, moving through junior high, then high school, I learned to appreciate the effect it had on a human mind. It was incredible to me how advice and knowledge gleaned from hands, from some simply paste-boards, and later, from planets and numbers could be so useful to the people I worked with. However, it was no longer intoxicating. No, now it became a responsibility, and one I took quite seriously. People didn't always treat this as a fun afternoon's diversion, or a way to kill a lunch break, no, people took this stuff seriously. They made decisions based on my word. They probably might have lived and died by my word had I said so.

So I stopped for a while... A long while, in fact. Permanent retirement, I had decided. No more readings, no more charts, no more pyramids or secret knowledge passed along to those who needed it because I was frightened by the effect it had on people. I didn't want the responsibility because I was a teenager. So, as all young men do when they have no direction and are fleeing from something, I drifted aimlessly for a few years. Nothing I did felt right, and I was never happy. I was, in fact, downright miserable. So being full of hormones and with no real ambition, I mostly focused my attention upon the opposite sex.

So it went for years, working only hard enough to pay my bills, and going out at night to chase women. College wasn't really an option for me, despite the encouragement I received from my former teachers and my family. Well-wishing only gets you so far when you cannot afford books, let alone tuition. Dead-end job after dead-end job, wasting my life for no real reason, only to forget my troubles briefly in the arms of this woman or that.

I threw away years of my life to this mindless, petty routine: Wake up, shower, go to work at a job I hated (I went through four of these,) leave, go out and drink myself into a stupor before meeting a woman, go home, fall asleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, repeat. Years of this until I stumbled into an opportunity. A hotel in which I wasted years of my life was hosting a psychic fair. I'm sure some of you have some experience with these, but for those who don't, it is a place where a group of intuitive and/or psychic readers get together under one roof, and the general public can come in and receive readings from them. Most of them also offer classes, have sales booths, all sorts of interesting things.
While this fair was going on, I was working at a small restaurant in the hotel, doing my part to help the locals destroy themselves with low-quality, artery-annihilating food. A couple of waitresses that were off-duty that day had come to have a look and ended up getting tarot readings. They came into the restaurant and were talking about it with a couple other servers who were on staff and thinking about going. They did not seem pleased. The reader in question had treated them a bit brusquely and, from what I gathered from the conversation, had done a bit of cold reading (more on that in a later post) to try and make herself seem better than she was, and she wasn't even entertaining about it. The worst part was, this idiot was being paid more than me to sit there and not give a crap about people who, from my experience, would use her advice in their daily lives. This did not sit well with The Divine Mr. R.

For some reason, I actually cared. Some weird, forgotten part of me actually gave a damn about what I saw as pointless and petty. Worse crimes in the world, right? But this didn't sit well with me for some reason. So, I did something that, at the time, I felt to be absolutely idiotic; I offered to read their palms. I offered to give them both readings, something I had avoided for years after what I swore would be my final one (senior year of high school, if you're curious.)
And it turns out, they loved it. They loved it so much, in fact, I ended up reading for the rest of the staff (and almost got fired for generally forgetting I was working!) So it went, and I was – against my better judgment - “back in the saddle” so to speak.
So that's basically the why. Too long, didn't read: I give my readings and I interpret charts for people because I have to, because I need to. This is my life.
P.S. If you're wondering why I chose “The Divine Mr. R.” as a name, my wife thought it would be funny.

Quick Numerology Readings for the Week of May 25th , 2015 – May 31st, 2015

Personal Year 1:
This week is a week for excitement and opportunity! The chance may come to do a little traveling and meet some interesting people. Consider this a week to enjoy and explore who you really are, maybe do a little networking or spend something on yourself (it is a universal eight year, after all!) If nothing else, start a trip and see where it takes you!

Personal Year 2:
A home and family kind of week, but this works out just fine for those of you with a personal year of two. This year for you is one of patience and consolidation. This week, spend some quiet time with your family or loved ones, stop worrying about work and money, and get to know them all over again.

Personal Year 3:
Despite your desire to go out and spend some time with friends (particularly work colleagues,) this week you will have the urge to spend some time alone. You might find yourself going for walks by yourself, or researching a topic that catches your interest.

Personal Year 4:
This week is a good one in which to work on financial matters. Take extra hours, balance your checkbook, make sound investments and do your homework on the matter! You are in a bit of a “nose to the grindstone” sort of year, so you might as well work hard for the money.

Personal Year 5:
You are in a year of change, and for this week that means change by endings. No, not like that! I need my readers (you make me feel so useful!) I mean it is a good week in which to wrap up projects you have been working on, or at least bring projects that are going nowhere to a final close so you can work on something else.

Personal Year 6:
This is a year in which the home takes center stage. A great week for weddings, but a fine week to start things with the family, as well. People close to you are going to get closer, so now is a good time to get something new off of the ground with them.

Personal Year 7:
You may be feeling a bit more sensitive than usual this week, which will lend itself well to the introspection precipitated by your seven year. Take advantage of the need for patience this week by exploring and examining the emotional part of yourself.

Personal Year 8:
This week lends itself well to pleasure-seeking and a bit of extravagance. It's a good idea to go and have a good time. Since you're also in a money year, you can use this opportunity to entertain some clients (or your boss) to combine the two in a week that stands a chance of not only mixing business with pleasure, but pulling some profit from the mix.

Personal Year 9:
You're likely to feel a bit of a squeeze this week, but don't let it get you down. You have been excited about finishing some things off this year, but this is a week in which you will have to work for your happily ever after. A deadline crunch is likely this week.
Numbers by Krissyho
Numbers by Krissyho

General Divinations for the Remainder of May (Yes, I know, I'm late!)

Hello again everyone! I was doing a few spreads with my deck of cards and I had an odd idea. If a person can do a twelve month spread to have a one year reading, then why can’t I do a three card spread for each star sign in the zodiac to provide a rough monthly reading for that particular sign? So I started playing with my cards, decided to perform an experiment, and have collected the results here. Each sign has received a three card reading, and I am posting them here for you to have a look at. The lucky numbers are from an old astragalomancy formula I had received from my teacher years ago. Check out your own sign, see what you think!

Aries (21 Mar. – 20 Apr.)
With the Jack of Spades, Six of Spades, and Ace of Hearts, the rest of May should be interesting for you (if not a bit rough on the old heart!) The Jack of Spades shows us a boy (or girl) who is not to be trusted. We all know them, kind of a scumbag, bit of a back-stabber, generally bad news. The Six of Spades with this makes it worse because this glorified rogue is going to latch onto your libido, being absolutely no good (take that how you want) but someone you’ll want in the worst way. The Ace of Hearts, at least, gives us a little light at the end of this tunnel with a new love to look forward to. Get your kicks in while you can, and keep it safe Aries.
Your lucky numbers: 40 – 65 - 47

Taurus (21 Apr. – 21 May)
With the Ten of Hearts, Six of Hearts, and Two of Hearts, everything seems to be coming up roses for you. The Ten of Hearts shows that everything is falling into place whereas everyone else is falling apart. Your love life is going well and family life is nothing to gripe about, either. Romance has been good to you, and if you’re flying solo it won’t be for much longer. The Six of Hearts shows that this is a condition which is here to stay, and coupled with the Two of Hearts means that you can expect that special someone to stick around for a good, long while. Enjoy yourself!
Your Lucky Numbers: 49 – 72 – 68

Gemini: (22 May – 21 Jun.)
The Jack of Spades, Six of Spades, and the Five of Hearts came up for you which means, while you’ll certainly deal with romantic challenges, you can expect some light at the end of this tunnel. Jack of Spades and Six of Spades show that you’re also likely to be stricken with the bad news boy (or girl) who is too hot to ignore. The bright side is that they’re really hot, or at least know how to push your buttons in all the right ways, the downside is that they’re probably more trouble than they’re worth. If you can deal with this challenge, however, you might have a healthy romance shedding some light at the end of this tunnel!
Your Lucky Numbers: 27 – 67 – 8

Cancer (22 Jun. – 22 Jul.)
Cancer can expect a bit of a rough go of things for the remainder of May. With Five of Clubs, Ten of Diamonds, and Nine of Clubs, we see a bit of a rest from all of the trouble, a lot of work, but only a little profit. Keep an ear to the ground, however, because not everything is as it seems! The Five of Clubs at the beginning of this spread shows us a body at work. Combine it with the Ten of Diamonds and we have a possible workaholic tendency with health being exchanged for profit. The Nine of Clubs at the end shows the likely result of this act, which is reaping what’s been sown. A person that driven is likely to wind up exhausted at best, and spend much of their own profit self-medicating in one way or another. Take a break or re-evaluate your plan of attack!
Your Lucky Numbers: 67 – 70 – 72

Leo (23 Jul. – 23 Aug.)
An interesting, helpful month of May for Leo! The Queen of Clubs shows a bit of help from a certain someone in your life in the form of some choice words of wisdom. They may not be necessarily kind or gentle words of wisdom, but useful advice nonetheless. You know exactly who this is, and exactly what kind of advice this person will give, so at your discretion. Paired with the Two of Diamonds, we can see cold, hard cash. Specifically, the exchange of funds, most likely loaned/borrowed or gifted, most likely from/with the Queen. Our man, Jack, however shows a bit of news regarding this coming into your life. Remember folks, clubs aren’t good or evil, it’s just business.
Your Lucky Numbers: 4 – 77 – 65

Virgo (24 Aug. – 22 Sep.)
Virgo will be experiencing a bit of a challenge during the month of May that is a smaller-scale “Hero’s Journey.” The Ten of Hearts, Three of Spades, and Three of Hearts show a minor obstacle that will be traversed with only a bit of effort on your part. Things begin well enough, everything having come together smartly as reflected in the Ten of Hearts. It is only when we come to the Three of Spades that things get a little sketchy. Its position between two Heart cards indicates the strong possibility of a falling out with either family or friends. This is really a misunderstanding, and will be cleared up with things, more or less, back to normal. The Three of Hearts reveals that, while you won’t end up with the gold medal so to speak, you will end up with at least a few things going right for you as the result of powering through this trouble. Call it minor disaster recovery if you’d like.
Your Lucky Numbers: 24 – 11 - 22

Libra (23 Sep. – 23 Oct.)
It looks like Libra will have some minor problems on the horizon with a spread of Three of Hearts, Ten of Hearts, and finally the Three of Spades finishing things off. Things will kick off well with the Three of Hearts, showing that roses are starting to bloom (in a manner of speaking) for you, if you happen to be a Libra. Combined with the Ten of Hearts, this blows out into full-on awesome as you are in the zone as far as good fortune is concerned. Everybody is getting along, work and home are in rather good balance, and everything is turning out for the best. However, the Three of Spades looming over this good fortune might give you pause, as well it should. This is not the useful challenge that is meant to make you a better person, or advance you in some way. No, this is merely an annoyance that may quickly get out of hand unless it is powered through and triumphed over. Remember, what doesn’t kill you will make you tougher.
Your Lucky Numbers: 65 – 38 – 33

Scorpio (24 Oct. – 22 Nov.)
The spread for you is Eight of Spades, Three of Clubs, and Five of Diamonds, which shows a period of darkness followed by some light, to get all mystical on you. The Eight of Spades strongly suggests a major communication breakdown. Not exactly par for the course, currently you’re having trouble making yourself clear, and this has led to a great deal of static. A lot of difficulty resolving the difficulties in your life, creating a few obstacles for you. The bright side is that the Three of Clubs indicates these obstacles to be of some use. While it is work, it is work with a purpose, and the possibility of you overcoming these difficulties is quite strong. The Five of Diamonds which follows may be an indicator of success if the first two challenges are dealt with correctly. Good feelings and good times for the clever Scorpio. Keep your head, rise to the challenge, and things will turn out better than you expect!
Your Lucky Numbers: 60 – 35 – 49

Sagittarius (23 Nov. – 21 Dec.)
Things might get a little weird for Sagittarius during the month of May. The Jack of Hearts indicates a young man and the King of Diamonds shows us an older gentleman who is good with cash. A relationship is implied by the placement of these two cards, employee and employer. The young man feels slighted by the older and wrongly so. The Five of Spades indicates a bitter feud (oddly one-sided in this case) that needs to end. Bury the damned hatchet or you may find yourself out of a job or completely screwed. Don’t let needless anger get the best of you. Should the slight be real, not imagined, bury the hatchet anyway and seek alternate avenues of redress (legal.)
Your Lucky Numbers: 5 – 8 – 40

Capricorn (22 Dec. – 20 Jan.)
May is a bit odd for the Capricorn, with a Four of Diamonds, King of Spades, and Six of Hearts. The Four of Diamonds opens things up with a distinct lack of information, a long, boring waiting period in which you’ll likely know little to nil. This is actually only as boring as you make it, you could end up on the edge of your seat, staring at your inbox waiting for the slightest hint of news. Coupled with the King of Spades, however, when you finally get your information it isn’t going to be good. The King of Spades arrives on the scene as a rival who will surprise you unpleasantly. Combine this with the Six of Hearts and you’ll notice that this fellow is with you for the long haul, a regular arch-nemesis. I recommend getting some help when dealing with this guy, as this is a rival who obeys no rules but their own.
Your Lucky Numbers: 49 – 46 – 56

Aquarius (21 Jan. – 18 Feb.)
Good news, Aquarius! May looks to be an excellent month for you, financially. With Two of Clubs, Three of Diamonds, and Ten of Diamonds, you should be in the black as your money situation steadily improves! The Two of Clubs shows an agreement or partnership between two individuals. With the Three of Diamonds showing up afterwards, it is clear that this is a business partnership, and a successful one at that, likely a new job/career (or promotion,) or even a successful start-up company. Finishing the reading, the Ten of Diamonds shows that your cup will overflow and the trees are drooping with fresh fruit, ripe for picking. The partnership available to you will pay off immensely, and you can give yourself a good pat on the back or an approving nod in the mirror over a wise decision and a job well done.
Your Lucky Numbers: 50 – 21 - 17

Pisces (19 Feb. – 20 Mar.)
Pisces, you might want to be careful during the month of May with the Seven of Diamonds, Two of Clubs, and Seven of Hearts. Seven of Diamonds shows you’re likely being lied to, and it is connected with a business deal of some kind, as the Two of Clubs reveals. Specifically, the ones who you need for the deal, or ones needing you for the deal. Perhaps it’s a friend trying to get you to create a business with them, a boss hiring you for the wrong reasons, or a healthcare provider giving you the run-around while you’re trying to get what you desperately need. Either way, the lie and the business are connected in this case. If you don’t need it, just walk away, it’ll be a damned headache. If you’re the one being sought, again, walk away, there is something sketchy going on. If you’re in need of it, keep careful notes and trip the glorified con-artists up with their own double-talk as fast as possible. Seek legal help if possible (I am NOT an attorney.) The Seven of Hearts shows that you will likely loathe this individual, particularly if it is a loved one doing the lying and cheating. Love twists into hate, or even fear at what this person is capable of. Be circumspect and protect yourself, Pisces.
Your Lucky Numbers: 74 – 39 – 72

A Quick and Dirty Introduction

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the premier of The Oracular Ravings of the Divine Mr. R! A blog which will cover divination, magic, myth, and probably a bit of mayhem (everything that makes life worth living!) I am the Divine Mr. R., diviner/reader, internationally known (more or less,) and adopted son of Pittsburgh, my new home. It is here (and areas surrounding) where I make use of my skill/talent/gift to provide professional assistance in whatever matter might be brought up during a reading. While I won’t dare say I have heard it all (it’s a big world, after all,) I am probably damned close thanks to a very creative batch of clients I have had over the years.

As I said before, I am a diviner/reader. What does this mean? It means that I have a carefully honed intuition (take that as you will,) that I make use of with traditional – and sometimes less than traditional – divination systems for the service of whoever needs this (including me.) My favorite methods are through cards, coins, and dice, but I’ve always got stranger stuff for stranger questions. It’s a weird world out there, and it never hurts to be sure.