Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Origin Story of The Divine Mr. R or.... Why I Do This Crazy Stuff.

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

You know, it's been a couple of days, and I thought maybe we should have a bit of a chat about something a little odd and a bit close to my heart. This is, of course, why I do what I do. Why, my loyal readers, I chose to study divination and practice it for the general public. I know, it's probably the last question on your mind. You're probably still waiting with baited breath to see if any of my offered experiments and calculations will prove true! However, it came up during a reading, so I thought I'd post it for all and sundry.

The reason, folks, is that it won't go away. I don't mean the astrological charts, or the cards, or the numerological tables... And certainly not my eyes (I NEED those!) No, I mean the urge won't go away. That horrible, burning urge. I'm sure some of you know what I mean. I have a passion for this, it is simply what I do and what I love.

It all started as a child (it usually does, I'm told) when my great aunt taught me how to read palms. Nothing big at first, you understand, just a few of the major lines and what the weird little “wrinkly places” - I would later learn they're called “bracelets” - mean. So, good student that I was, I'd sit at her feet and learn what she would teach me since these lessons were kind of stretched out, to make sure my folks didn't know. It was great fun and, quite frankly, I was hooked! To think you could learn so much about a human being from their hand and digits... Naturally, I had to know more. So the lessons continued, quite a bit for a little eight year old boy, but I was a dutiful student. Later on, I found a book on superstitions in the school library that gave me, if not correct information, then the right words to use when asking questions. This supplemented the education I received from family, then a couple of years later, my first tentative steps into practice as I read for friends.

The teachers weren't the least bit amused, but then they never really are, are they? So it goes... And so I went. As I grew older, I studied more and more, making trips to the public library to pad out what I had learned. I began to pick up all sorts of useful stuff, practicing diligently and putting it to work with my somewhat captive clientele at my school. Once the academic thrill of learning something nobody else knew wore off, I learned something else that was equally important; I enjoyed helping people with my knowledge.

It sounds downright diabetic, doesn't it? The Divine Mr. R found his joy in helping people with stuff that nobody takes seriously anymore... But it's true. As I grew older still, moving through junior high, then high school, I learned to appreciate the effect it had on a human mind. It was incredible to me how advice and knowledge gleaned from hands, from some simply paste-boards, and later, from planets and numbers could be so useful to the people I worked with. However, it was no longer intoxicating. No, now it became a responsibility, and one I took quite seriously. People didn't always treat this as a fun afternoon's diversion, or a way to kill a lunch break, no, people took this stuff seriously. They made decisions based on my word. They probably might have lived and died by my word had I said so.

So I stopped for a while... A long while, in fact. Permanent retirement, I had decided. No more readings, no more charts, no more pyramids or secret knowledge passed along to those who needed it because I was frightened by the effect it had on people. I didn't want the responsibility because I was a teenager. So, as all young men do when they have no direction and are fleeing from something, I drifted aimlessly for a few years. Nothing I did felt right, and I was never happy. I was, in fact, downright miserable. So being full of hormones and with no real ambition, I mostly focused my attention upon the opposite sex.

So it went for years, working only hard enough to pay my bills, and going out at night to chase women. College wasn't really an option for me, despite the encouragement I received from my former teachers and my family. Well-wishing only gets you so far when you cannot afford books, let alone tuition. Dead-end job after dead-end job, wasting my life for no real reason, only to forget my troubles briefly in the arms of this woman or that.

I threw away years of my life to this mindless, petty routine: Wake up, shower, go to work at a job I hated (I went through four of these,) leave, go out and drink myself into a stupor before meeting a woman, go home, fall asleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, repeat. Years of this until I stumbled into an opportunity. A hotel in which I wasted years of my life was hosting a psychic fair. I'm sure some of you have some experience with these, but for those who don't, it is a place where a group of intuitive and/or psychic readers get together under one roof, and the general public can come in and receive readings from them. Most of them also offer classes, have sales booths, all sorts of interesting things.
While this fair was going on, I was working at a small restaurant in the hotel, doing my part to help the locals destroy themselves with low-quality, artery-annihilating food. A couple of waitresses that were off-duty that day had come to have a look and ended up getting tarot readings. They came into the restaurant and were talking about it with a couple other servers who were on staff and thinking about going. They did not seem pleased. The reader in question had treated them a bit brusquely and, from what I gathered from the conversation, had done a bit of cold reading (more on that in a later post) to try and make herself seem better than she was, and she wasn't even entertaining about it. The worst part was, this idiot was being paid more than me to sit there and not give a crap about people who, from my experience, would use her advice in their daily lives. This did not sit well with The Divine Mr. R.

For some reason, I actually cared. Some weird, forgotten part of me actually gave a damn about what I saw as pointless and petty. Worse crimes in the world, right? But this didn't sit well with me for some reason. So, I did something that, at the time, I felt to be absolutely idiotic; I offered to read their palms. I offered to give them both readings, something I had avoided for years after what I swore would be my final one (senior year of high school, if you're curious.)
And it turns out, they loved it. They loved it so much, in fact, I ended up reading for the rest of the staff (and almost got fired for generally forgetting I was working!) So it went, and I was – against my better judgment - “back in the saddle” so to speak.
So that's basically the why. Too long, didn't read: I give my readings and I interpret charts for people because I have to, because I need to. This is my life.
P.S. If you're wondering why I chose “The Divine Mr. R.” as a name, my wife thought it would be funny.

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